When I received the review for Playgirl from Dreamweaver at Night Owl Reviews I was elated when I read that she categorized the genre as, “Self-Help.” Finally, someone gets my novel.

She writes:
“As the reader accompanies Alena on her personal re-discovery, it is very easy to go through the emotional roller coaster with this evolving character. You feel the rejection and indifference from her husband as if it were directed at you. The reader also learns to live through Alena’s eyes and see her perspective as she goes out on her own and tries new things, no matter how scared she may be of that change.”

Playgirl is about a wife and mother, Alena Conner, who has lost her sense of self. This is my real life story. This novel represents my journey of discovering who I am, what I like, what I want, why I’m on this earth. Accepting my sexuality played a major role in my self-actualization. Sensuality plays a major role in my happiness, contentment, satisfaction, fulfillment and purpose.

For years I dealt with my sexuality by separating the “sexual” me from the “real” me. I even named the sexual me, “Jackie.” For years, I attempted to keep Jackie locked away. As long as she was kept in check I felt safe. Sex with my husband was sterile (not literally, we had three children), uninvolved, unemotional. But Jackie would eventually kick and scream until I couldn’t hold her back anymore, and then she’d break out and seduce my husband.

Or, in Alena’s words, when her friend and mentor, Tony, asked her, “I mean, knowing you now…how’d you resist the sex?”
Alena answered, “Well that’s just it … I didn’t for very long. I’d study the Bible and pray. Sometimes that would work for a month and other times it’d only last for a couple of days, then I wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer, and I’d come at him like a wildcat. Poor Wade never knew if he was crawling into bed with me or Jackie.”

The war that waged between Jackie and me eventually took its toll on my psyche. Jackie was slinking towards domination, controlling my thoughts and actions. My attempts at destroying her were in vain and eventually I gave in. It’s been a long, evolving process, but little by little I grew to accept Jackie, even embrace her and then I realized … Jackie is me, and I am Jackie. We’re one and the same. She is part of me, a good and necessary part of me—the way God created me. I rarely think of Jackie anymore. I simply cherish and celebrate the sensual woman I have become.

If you’re struggling with accepting your sexuality or even attempting to find your sexuality, contact me. I will be open and honest with you. I might not have the answers but I have an open, non-judgmental heart and a listening ear. If you don’t want to leave a comment, email me.
Wishing everyone an orgasmic weekend.
Hugs,
Regina